Advice for the Ladies from the Guys
Viewing entries tagged with 'L'
MEN have Chest Hair
Ladies, I too am vulnerable. For years I have dealt with an embarrassing problem… I have chest hair. You may scoff at this admission but during some of the most epic periods in my life such as Spring Break 2001… bare chests and massive juiced up muscles were “in”. What was a guy to do but conceal his true nature and take a razor to his chest? Most of my friends at the time were peer pressured into doing some hardcore manscaping just to get the attention of a cute co-ed at the beach. It was a sad time for men indeed, but my point here is that I know many of you ladies, even right now in 2010, are still turned off by the chest hair. However, as you mature and start looking for real men to date instead of just cute boys to pass the time, I urge you to consider what it really means when a man has body hair.
Permit me to drop some knowledge on you: Each and every time a man does something manly, a tiny amount of hair will sprout onto a man’s chest. Adding a little extra hot sauce to your eggs, hitting a grand slam, earning a huge bonus at work, wrestling a wild animal to the ground… these events force us to produce extra endorphins to conquer the situation, and as a result we grow brand new hairs to wear around for life as a badge of pride. For generations, both men and women could visually judge a man’s overall manliness by the size, thickness, and sometimes color of the patch on his chest. Take for instance some of the most desired men in Hollywood from years behind: Burt Reynolds (http://bit.ly/1lX5Fa), David Hasselhoff (http://bit.ly/950ZL4 ), Robert Redford (http://bit.ly/8YhraP ), Steve McQueen (http://bit.ly/95ECLQ) , these guys were cocks of the walk then and they were happy to show you what was doin under the hood.
Go-To Questions to Avoid the Dreaded Awkward Silence
So here you are ladies, you are on yet another first date but this time it is with a nice guy who’s not too short, not too fat, has enough hair and a job and you want to make sure there is a second date. We guys have been taught to constantly ask questions, keep you talking and keep you laughing… and at all costs, AVOID THE FATAL AWKWARD SILENCE!
Approach and Response
Hey, ladies. Like a slow-jam on the radio, this one goes out to you. Unlike said "jam," however, I'm gonna go a different route with the message I'm singing to you here. We can get to talking about satin sheets, "rubbin' you down," and the act of making love "all night long" (for me, love making is, at the least, an 8-hour event) a bit later. For now, we're gonna talk briefly about what I call the "approach" and the "response."
The "approach" is the act of a guy walking up to, well, you, with the intent of making conversation, maybe having a drink, getting your number, and then possibly living out the lyrics of the song I brought up at the start; and preferably in that order. The "response" should be pretty self-explanatory, but just in case, I'll spell it out: it's how you, the lady-folk, respond to our gentleman's advance. But before I go any further, let's assume that our charmer is actually a decent guy. He's polite. He's not overly-aggressive. He's pretty much a guy that, if he worked in your office, you'd have plenty to talk about in the break-room when the building's internet goes out and you can't get on to Facebook.
Now that that's out of the way, I'm going to paint a picture to get to the meat of our discussion.
Imagine this: You're out at a bar with a girlfriend. The two of you are having a drink, standing by the wall in the back. You're chatting. A giggle here, a hair-twirl there… a typical night-out's activities. All of the sudden, a young man happens to walk up to you both to strike up a conversation about anything he can manage to think up that won't make him sound like a total moron. I give you the "approach!" In reality, all he can really say at this point is something like, "Hi. How are you?" or, "I hope you don't mind my coming over, but I wanted to introduce myself." You get the idea. There's very little time to prove how brilliant he actually is when it's loud and crowded and you don't know each other at all. Now, to keep things general here, we're gonna say that our guy (let's just call him "Guy") ranks somewhere in the middle of the rest of the crowd at the bar with regard to looks. But before you turn your nose at him, keep in mind that SO DO YOU! The odds of either one of you being the hottest one in the joint are slim-to-none. You may be quite attractive, but there's a real good chance there's someone else nearby who's just plain hotter. Or has better hair. Or is dressed sexier (ie: easier. Just kidding). Hard to believe, I know. And for the record, I'm "that guy." I'm not the tallest, but I ain't the smallest. I make more money than some of the men you meet, but less than some of the others. I don't roll outta bed in the morning with amazing hair, but I clean up nice. I'm "that guy." So hear me out, because you'll be meeting "us" more often than not.
So here's my point (yes- I finally got to it). Why is it, after all I just described, would you feel the slightest inclination to respond with an attitude any less pleasant than the one that was set by Guy from the start? Why won't you look him in the eyes? Is it possible to appear more disinterested? All he managed to say was, "Hi! You having a good time?" and you've already made the decision to be, well, kind of a bitch! Look- not being interested is 100% OK. You don't have to spend the night talking with EVERY guy that might make his way over to you. But where in the manual does it instruct you to be rude just because you're out somewhere and the man "not quite of your dreams" is the one who gathers the courage to introduce himself? There are ways of hinting to someone that you're not feeling him that are completely appropriate; I'm sure you can come up with one of them.
When was the last time you walked across a room to meet a total stranger? It's not easy. It's not fun. But we're young, we're looking for companionship, and this is often how it's done. If you don't like it, stay home! The old excuse of, "I didn't come out to be bothered. I'm here with my girlfriend" doesn't fly anymore (did it ever?). If you don't want to be bothered, don't wear those jeans (the ones you spent 10 minutes getting into), and sure as hell don't go to a bar where the music is so loud you can't even hear each other. If you're truly looking for a night out with the girls to be left alone, maybe avoid the place with 45 TVs and speakers the size of your car.
It's not easy being single; especially in LA. A myriad of reasons have been hypothesized as to why girls in other cities are more approachable than they are here. And to be fair, part of it could be because a healthy-handful of the guys out here ruined it for the rest of us. But the next time someone "risks it all" just to get to know you a bit, put yourself in his position. Be flattered that someone finds you worthy enough of getting butterflies in his stomach, and will drain his wallet buying you your next overpriced "peach vodka with cranberry juice and diet 7-Up" (or your next 4 overpriced "peach vodkas with cranberry juice and diet 7-Up").
We're not looking for charity (most of the time). And we don't expect you to respond favorably to every jackass that stumbles over and spills beer on your Manolo Blahnik knock-offs (though, some of you do). But, in the words of, well, a lot of people: "Just be cool." Worst case? You spend a few minutes (or less) having a relatively painless conversation with someone new; all the while getting a little bump in your self-confidence. Best case? Well, anything better than the worst-case is a bonus!
And with that, I've said my piece. I hope I've given some insight that'll make for better evenings out for all of us. Have a great night, and don't forget to take care of your waitress.
Game Winning Outfit
So I am no expert… far be it for me to throw stones, I’ve built one hell of a glass house. But since Three Day Rule has created this arena, I might as well use it.
Please don't do that on a first date / ever
Please disregard the following posting if you’re 21 or under, but for the rest of you single, actively-dating women, seeking non-d-bag dudes, please don’t do the following on a first date:
Am I ruined?
When I was young, I bought into the whole "quantity over quality" thing when it came to getting laid. I'm a pretty good looking guy and have always had standards, but there were always those few dogs that slipped through the cracks, and a couple I just cannot talk about. Years later (about 13 years since I lost my V-card), I have slowed down dramatically and would love to find that one girl that helps me forget about all the rest. I do understand that it will always be a struggle, but when I close my eyes and picture the girl(s) I want to marry, the struggle isn't so difficult anymore. I am aware of the age old saying amongst men: Show me a hot girl and I'll show you the guy who's sick of f*cking her. But still, I keep my eye on the ball.
A Shiny Christmas Date to Forget
A while back I tried internet dating on E-Harmony. I wasn't getting a lot of tail and figured it couldn't hurt. I was wrong, as E-harmony led me to the most painful date of my life.
Girl Types, From a Guys Perspective Pt. 1 - Party Girls...
First, we have the Party Girls. Guys get immediate satisfaction from the party animals. They play a big role in going out and having a good time in the nightlife scene and often some very awkward next mornings with the guy scrambling around for that one missing sock and car keys while trying not to knock over the half drank crappy vodka soda from last night's messy adventures. I don't want to say anything bad about being a party animal. I believe in living your life to the fullest and if that's what is making you happy at the time, then by all means go for it. We all need to party from time to time and just let loose and maybe let our guards down a little. Patron is our friend, and Lil' Wayne may even be your friend too for a night of booty grinding. Maybe you just got out of a long term relationship, are having a rough time, or just want to have fun, so go for it -- but be in tune and understand that by acting this way, guys will perceive you as a one night stand or future booty call.
But this was expensive...
Many of us associate expensive with "the best." But, just because you are sporting a new Jacket from Yves St. Laurent, am I (a guy) suppose to be impressed?
(Detroit) Lions and (Cincinnati) Bengals and (Chicago) Bears, OH MY!
I get how frustrating it can be for you ladies to lose your man every year before the first orange leaf hits the ground. Football season is here. College Football, Pro Football, Eagles, Bears, the Bengals, Fantasy Drafts (What the hell is Fantasy draft? Like a Fantasy being wisped away to France by a man who is gorgeous, keeps his mouth shut and opens your door every time?)