Oh, waiter…

Posted by Carrie on 21 August 2010 | 0 Comments

Tags: Los Angeles, dating advice

Oh, waiter…

I’m a southern gal so I expect a certain amount of courting. I expect a guy to make a dinner reservation, I expect him to pick me up, I expect him to open the car door, I expect him to pay, and overall I just expect him to know what the hell he’s doing. HOWEVER, all you ladies that sit around expecting a guy to do everything and open himself up emotionally for YOU, is in for a rude awakening.

I’m definitely that girl a bit. I’m very guarded and I like being in control. I like a guy doing all the work wherein my only job is to choose whether I want in or not. It’s backfired in my life in so many ways. Guys often tell me that they could never tell if I actually liked them. And to be honest, I probably didn’t know myself. But I know for a fact that my sitting back and doing absolutely nothing while analyzing their moves has done nothing to further my love life either.

My best friend and I were enjoying a pleasant summer day with wine and cocktails and of course our conversation led to analyzing the detailed moves of some flavor-of-the-month. She proceeded to tell me about how a 2nd date involved a guy making her a home cooked meal that was amazing. He then text her the next day inquiring about a meeting she had and whether it went well. She had responded that it did. Well, stop the presses, the boy hasn’t called in a week and that must mean he doesn’t like her. I get it, when you like a guy you want things to move a bit faster and you’d prefer a week not to go by before you hear from him. But he’s not here to serve you. Pick up the phone and call him. “Well, I text him last so now it’s his turn.” I didn’t know this was playtime and we were taking turns on who’s next at the slide.

Why is a guy gonna call you if he doesn’t know if you’re interested in hearing from him? What signals are you giving him that he should? I get the ‘play hard to get thing’ but if you aren’t sleeping with him yet, I think he still has something to work towards.

A guy isn’t here to serve your emotional needs and he certainly isn’t here to guess what those needs are. The worse thing you can do is to sit around and analyze what he’s thinking. Put your ego aside and call him. If he doesn’t call you back, you have your answer and you can move on. There are waaay too many men in this world to sit around and waste your time (and your best friend’s beach vacation time) analyzing the moves of some guy and why he isn’t doing all the work. What work are you doing?

So don’t complain that he didn’t call, don’t analyze why he didn’t. Don’t bitch that the guy across the bar didn’t come over and say hi, when you had no plans on going over to him. What do you have to lose taking a chance and doing something yourself? I get that rejection sucks. It’s a miserable feeling. But you know what else is miserable? Waiting around. Even Cinderella got her ass to the ball and you can too.