Pity Party

Posted by Lucy on 28 September 2009 | 3 Comments

Tags: the Hills, dating

It’s my fifth lonely night in my fabulous L.A. apartment. My phone is not ringing, and I’m enjoying the view of the Hills by myself. So I decided to have a date with the new man in my life, Charles Shaw. That’s right, it’s just me, a DVR of the Hills (when did Lauren get so manipulative?), and the best glass of wine that $2.00 can buy (thanks Trader Joes), at home…alone…on a Friday night…in a city that boasts the most singles of any major city in the country.

When I couldn’t take one more of Justin Bobby’s ramblings to Audrina, I decided to do what every other twentysomething would do in my position: throw a pity party. But, pity parties are never fun when only one person attends, so I decided to invite my best friend, Johnny, to the party. After dialing, I hear a familiar Beyonce song and I just hope he doesn’t catch me singing when he picks up. But, will he pick up? It is a Friday night, and, according to him, he is the West Hollywood nightclub impresario. Thankfully, Johnny answered my call, and despite the blaring music in the background, recognized the woe in my voice and stepped outside his lavish party at the Abbey to counsel me.

“Are you at home on a Friday?” he asked. And I just broke down. Honestly, I couldn’t even hear what he said after that. All I could hear was my uncontrollable sobbing, and my mom’s voice in the back of my head saying, “when are you going to meet someone?” Almost in perfect unison, Johnny suggested that I go on a dating website to “meet someone.” While I was slightly insulted that Johnny would think that I would need to go online to “meet someone” (after all, I was the homecoming queen in high school) or that I even needed to “meet someone,” he was right. In a city that is so hard to navigate, and to find the right guy, I decided to give this online thing a try. Hmmm…what will my screenname be?