Coffeeshop Etiquette For Finding Romance

Java houses. Tea Teepees. Mugs of mud (we made that last one up). Coffee shops are ubiquitous, and they're a great place to meet single people. However, we have some words of advice (and warning) on the proper way to engage a possible romantic partner in this very public and caffeinated space. Charge your laptop, throw on a Norah Jones album, and read Three Day Rule's tips on how to be a decent human at your local coffee spot.

Be aware of where you are.

Sadly, some people have terrible situational awareness. Nowadays, coffee shops are a place of friendly meetings, quick stops for caffeine, and offices to the ever-growing freelance working class. So before you even think of trying to make eyes over a steaming cup of joe, be aware of where you are. This isn't the coffee shop from Friends, so don't expect attractive single people to just sit and loudly discuss their sex lives (IN THE SAME COUCH EVERY DAY). If you do see someone you like at your local spot, be aware of what they look like they're trying to accomplish. Which leads us to our next tip...

Body language.

Body language is everything - especially when it comes to seeing if someone is open to you approaching them for a quick introduction and chat. Do they look like they're working? Then leave them alone. Do they have headphones on? Then for the love of god, DO NOT TRY TO HIT ON THEM (this article is a great example of what never to do). However, if they're simply enjoying themselves, and look open to a hello, then spark up a conversation.

Order for yourself, not the entire shop.

We all know that person. The person who walks into a coffee shop and loudly orders something simple off the menu, but inevitably adds three shots of espresso, nutmeg shavings, soy milk, and no foam. By the time they've finished with their order two things have happened - A. The Barista looks at them with disdain B. Anyone who was possibly attracted to them has been turned off. Because if it spends them five minutes to dictate a coffee order, who knows what other normal activities are a circus act with them. Stick to a simple order, with one addition or substitution max. This is a coffee shop, not a Build-A-Bear.

Pumpkin Spice Lattes.


Funeral > Library > Coffee Shop > Restaurant > Bar > NFL Game

Above is a handy hierarchy of appropriate noise levels for any situation. As you can see, a coffee shop is on the lower spectrum of sound, so be aware of where you are. That means if you're on the phone, take it outside. No one wants to overhear your conversation. Unless you're a student abroad, it's almost never appropriate to be doing a video chat in a coffee shop, and under no circumstances should you be on the phone while also ordering a cup of coffee. It's rude to the barista and gives a clear indication to everyone how you treat people in service. Bad manners toward the serving industry = terrible in bed.

In Conclusion

Coffee shops are a superb place to meet single people, but it takes some taste and tact. While they can be hotbeds of attractive people, it's important to realize what people are there to accomplish. If you're a graphic designer working on a deadline for a project, romance is the last thing that's on your peripheral. However, if you see a potential mate who seems open to a casual conversation, grip your cup of caffeine with confidence, and smile.

When you're ready to put two shots of romance into your latte of life, contact our matchmakers at Three Day Rule.